Tobi's Night Off
by Snow Blade
Summary: Being friendly with Tobi, they ask him to play "Who am I?" with them. But not everything turns out the way you want it to. But that's what makes life exciting. Try guessing who they pick for Tobi, the answer will blow your mind. Try going easy on me.


**Tobi's Night Off**

Tobi laid in the stool in a bar as the rest of the akatsuki organization were sitting the one spot playing "guess who am I." Tobi didn't know a lot of things so he couldn't play.

"Okay, okay, am I wearing a leaf headband?"

"No"

"Well, you used to, hmm."

"Deidara, don't give Kisame any hints."

"Sorryyy, Sasori, if I was being helpful to him, scorpion king, hmm." Everyone else was giving small laughs.

"Hey, Hidan was the one who wrote that for me and I couldn't help but say my own name." Everyone continued laughing.

"Okay, okay, am I dead already."

"Yes"

"Am I the Third Hokage"

"Argh, it was fourth hokage." Some started to give upset or remarked looks.

"That's not fair; you guys said he was old."

"Well, he would have been around fourty by now."

"No I meant Hidan or Kakuzu old." Both of them stared at Kisame with the glare of killing, which for them, it was normal, so no one cared. They turned to Itachi.

"Okay, now your turn."

"Am I Tobi."

"Argh, Itachi, I told you not to use your sharingan."

"Speaking of Tobi…" Konan turned her eyes and then everyone was turning towards him and wondered why he was sitting there doing nothing.

"Hey Tobi, come and sit with us, hmm."

"Really sempai, because I don't really know a lot of people."

"Don't worry, hmm; the point of the game is to guess a person they may not know."

"Really…" Tobi started to get all excited, which for some reason made Deidara get creep out. Tobi then slide his stool over to the table, and only Deidara seem to wonder how a drilled in stool went across the room.

"Okay tobi, since everyone else finished, it's your turn." Konan started to write something on a sheet of paper. Tobi, curious, turn slightly to the left towards her to see the paper, but was stopped when Deidara purposely smacked Tobi in the back of the head.

"You're not supposed to look, hmm!" Deidara eye started to turning bloody red with flame burning out. Tobi, in the other hand, started to release tears of fear from his eye.

"Sorry sempai, Tobi will be a good boy."

"Yes Tobi is a good boy."

"But sometimes being good can kill you."

"Zetsu-san, I don't understand what your saying when you speak like that." Some of the group laughed at that response.

"Tobi, you must realize that Zetsu is not a person you follow to; he… just talk gibberish"

"What do you mean gibberish?"

"Yeah, do we both not make since."

"You two never agreed on anything in your lives."

"Well… we both agreed that we should join the organization."

"Actually, you decided and I was force to come."

"We could have separated"

"Yeah… that's not going to happen… it just looks to gross and no one would date a gross person."

"I second that motion!"

"Who said that?" Zetsu looked at everyone else, but no one respond.

"Shouldn't we get back to playing the game?"

"Konan's right, as leader I say, let's play."

"Fine"

"Okay Tobi here you are?" Konan licked the back of the paper and smacked it on Tobi's forehead. After a second for everyone reading it, everyone started to laugh hysterically.

"What? Is it up-side-down or something?"

"No it's just that it's suit you."

"Just like Itachi suits me." Itachi looked at Kisame awkwardly before taking one slide to the left with his chair. "Is something wrong Itachi?"

"What do you mean suits?"

"Well… you see… it's just… we been best friends for so long and I just wanted to tell you that I-"

"Best friends…?"

"Yeah aren't we?"

"I killed my best friend a long time ago… you… I consider you just a partner, nothing more." Kisame was speechless that the only thing in his mind was the words "a partner, nothing more" in his mind over and over. Back in the reality, everyone stand there quietly, well Tobi was turning his head back and forth, looking at the ceiling.

"Tobi, what are you doing?"

"Hidan-san, I thought I heard voices just now?"

"Yeah, that's just Jashin and he's telling me that… IF YOU DON'T QUIT ALL YOU BLABBERING, HE MUST KILL YOU ALL IN A SLOW AND DESPICABLE WAY IMAGINABLE!!!"

"Okay" Whispered Tobi, completely nervous to the point that he might literally pee his clothes. Well the other were shocked at the turn around in the atmosphere.

"Come on Tobi, ask a question."

"Okay… uh… am I real?"

"Yes."

"Hmm… Am I a male?"

"You could be either."

"Kakuzu, no helping Tobi"

"Sorry, Sasori, but if I don't this might take a long time."

"Fine you can help him."

"And maybe he might give me money for helping him." Kakuzu was now in his own little money world.

"Maybe you should tell him that!"

"Okay, uh… am I and animal?"

"Yes you are."

"Do I have fur?"

"Yes you do."

"Do I have four legs?"

"Oh yeah you do."

"Do I take commands without question?"

"When you're put in your place, yes"

"Am I cute or ugly?"

"You could be either."

"Do I bark all the time?"

"Yes you do."

"Ooh, ooh, I know, I know, Am I… Hidan!!" Everyone was turning there heads sideways, signifying "no". But Hidan was a dark shading in the upper face. "Then what was it."

"Doggy!!!" Everyone started smiling.

"Oh I knew that… that would have been my second choice." Tobi had his hand, rubbing the back of his head and smiling. "Oh Hidan, what's wrong? Your face is all red."

"You think I'm a dog… A STUPID DOG!!!" He takes out his three bladed scythe.

"Run everyone, Hidan's gone crazy again!!" Everyone started panicking.

"I SHOW YOU ALL WHO'S A DOG!!! AS THE CHURCH OF JASHIN SHALL ALLOW ME KILL ALL YOU FREAKING BASTARDS!!!"

"AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"

**The End**


End file.
